Asking others for help doesn't make you seem weak;
It makes them feel valued.
Avodah: To Work and to Serve
The word avodah is full of meaning. Simply it means both service (of G-d - particularly with respect to prayer and Temple service) andwork, labor. The first time the term avodah appears in the Torah is in Bereishis 2:5. The Torah describes the state of the world just before its greenery appeared. The trees, plants and grasses were ready to burst through the outer layers of the earth's surface, but they had not yet done so. The earth still looked brown and barren.
" And the plant life of the fields had not yet begun to be in the world nor had the grasses of the meadows begun to grow. For Hashem had not caused rain to fall on the land; and there was no human (la'avod) to work the land."
In this sentence the punctuation (as manifested by the trop [*]) is unusual and suggests we apply both understandings of the wordavodah - to work and to serve - to the sentence in order to gather the fullness of its meaning. The punctuation directs that we pause after the word la'avod, so the sentence could read:
"…and there was no human (la'avod) to serve (G-d)"
With this interpretation "the land" is not the object of the verb "la'avod," rather G-d is the object of the sentence and "the land" is the instrument of service. The sentence could now read:
"…and there was no human (la'avod) to serve (G-d) by working the land."
This is how Rashi explains the sentence. He further explains the causality referred to in the verse: There was no greenery because there had been no rain, and there had been no rain because there was no one to serve G-d by working the land. In Rashi's explanation he lays down the steps of avodah:
The greenery paused at the outer surface of the earth until the sixth day of Creation. And why was this so? Because Hashem had not yet caused rain to fall. And why had He not caused rain to fall? Because there was no human to work the land and appreciate the value of rain. However once humankind entered the scene and understood the world's need for rain, man prayed for rain , and it fell, and then the trees and grasses sprouted.
Prayer and Gratitude
Humans need to be engaged with the world to understand its needs. We need to understand the world's needs before we can effectively pray; and we need to pray for our needs before we can truly appreciate the value of G-ds generosity.
Man needs to trigger the onset of rain. He does so by means of prayer thereby expressing his appreciation for the value of rain, an appreciation he could never have acquired if it were not for the fact that he worked the land. When we engage in the reality of economic activity we understand our needs and pray for their fulfillment. If we did not pray before G-d gave us what we need, we would interpret G-d's miraculous kindnesses as random acts of which we just happen to be beneficiaries. Consider how for granted we take the rising of the sun each day and it's setting, or the changes of the seasons because we never experience the absence of these phenomena and never pray for them. We don't take rain as for granted though, and when rain eludes us we pray for it. This way we appreciate it as a deliberate kindness of Hashem and not as an inevitable part of nature's recurring cycle. Recognizing the value of the things we need and praying for them is a condition for our gratitude and is core to ouravodah. The process of avodah then entails three phases:
- Identify your needs
- Articulate our needs in prayer
- Express gratitude for G-d's answers to your prayers.
Interpersonal Service
Interestingly, the process of constructive interpersonal relationships is not much different and entails the same three steps. Society is premised on mutual interdependence; we cannot function without one another's help and support. In social interaction it is also important that we are clear in our minds about what we need and who can help us get what we need. When people do help us (whether or not we are paying for their help in a business or professional relationship) it is important that we show them abundant gratitude for their help. This helps to make them feel valued and not taken advantage of, it avoids their feeling exploited which would inhibit their further generosity.
Reaching out to others and asking for their help and support does not make you appear weak; it makes them feel valued. We are all "wired" to respond to sincere calls for help. We respond with abundant generosity provided we do not feel exploited and do not fear being taken advantage of. (For more on this idea, see my blog,Avoiding the Fear of Exploitation athttp://leadbygreatness.com/overcoming-the-fear-of-exploitation/.)
As you engage in life, identify the things you need and ask G-d for help; this is avodah. Be alert and notice when Hashem gives you what you need, and show Him gratitude. By engaging in prayer and gratitude with G-d, we show Him that we value Him and do not take His kindness for granted. Once man understood the world's need for rain and prayed for it, rain fell and then the trees and grasses sprouted.
[*] Musical notes and phrasing directions applied to each word in the Tanach.
