Shemot, 35:2
The Way we Celebrate Shabbat
In our lonely, too busy and alienated world, socially vibrant Shabbatot often attract people to religious observance. However, the way we observe Shabbat has sidetracked us far from the intention of the Architect of Shabbat and the Artist of its majestic beauty.
Our Shabbatot are often glorious days of social networking, entertaining, sumptuous kidushes and meals (with sometimes exotic and over-abundant drinking). Many Shuls are full on Shabbat not because of the charisma of the rabbi, the wisdom of his derashot nor for the liturgical talent of the chazzan. They are full often because of the social vibe and the connectedness of the people attending. Now, I am not suggesting this is all a bad thing. But is this the best way to optimize the Shabbat experience?
A Day of Being
Consider Shemot 35:2. “For six days work may be done, but on the seventh day there will be for you sanctity, a time of great reposefor Hashem. Anyone doing work, will die [1].” Let us be clear: Shabbat is not a suggested day of leisure. Death is a rather extreme consequence for not taking a break when you are advised to! No, this day is not ours at all. It is Hashem’s. It belongs to our souls, not to our bodies. When we use Shabbat to “get our own things done” we are stealing time from our souls and from Hashem; it is a capital offence. Shabbat is intended not as a day of doing, but as a day ofbeing “there will be for you…”. It is intended for us to go deep within ourselves and to access that quiet place inside us that eludes us during most of the week. It is in that quiet space that we can experience moments of spiritual sanctity.
In many Eastern philosophies recommend not only daily times for meditation, but a day of meditation once a week. A day when you cease all activity, disengage from matters of work and technology. Stay in one place. Prepare your food before the start of the day so that cooking activities do not distract you. Be on your own, without social interaction and conversation. Just be; reflect, study, read. I wonder what the origin is of that practice?
Conversation or Reflection?
The Vilna Gaon in his famous Igeret cautions his family about this: “On Shabbat do not converse at all about matters that are not very immediate, and even then be very brief. For the Sanctity of Shabbat is extreme and it was with difficulty that the Rabbis even permitted us to greet one another on Shabbat. However honor the Shabbat with abundance and do not exercise sparseness at all.”
The Gaon’s intention is not to turn Shabbat into an oppressive day of “may not do’s”. His description is intended to create the space for you to find yourself on Shabbat rather than to be chasing others. It is a space for silent reflection rather than for the distraction of social clatter. It is to be a day of meditation, prayer and engagement in G-d’s word through his Torah. A day that is KodeshLeHashem.
Family Time
What about family? Of course it is a day for family too. But family will connect much more deeply if it excludes not only the clatter of the media, entertainment and work, but even the clatter of vigorous social interactions. When the whole family spends a day in quiet Shabbat time, meaningful conversation, intellectual, emotional and spiritual growth and prayer there can be no better way of bonding.
When we were growing up, my parents’ social time was during the week. They would create time to go out with friends on an evening, listen to music with them or just have conversation (we grew up in South Africa before there was television!). We had a rule then. No guests on Shabbat. Our home was filled with guests on Yomtov, but with rare exceptions, Shabbat was for us. Each of us prepared a Devar Torah to share. My father coached us in the arts of teaching and public speaking with no one but our family as the a udience. We shared the week’s experience. We gained Torah insights into current affairs. And my father would read to us from the classics, often acting portions out in ways that had us laughing together with abandon. Those were the times that bonded our family. That was the time we were not on show. That, was Shabbat.
In our society we tend to flee from silence and aloneness because we fear the discovery of our deep and true selves. We fill our time with noise and activity. Turning on the TV is a reflex action to defend ourselves against the “horror” of silence. In our cars we talk on our phones rather than notice the world about us. And yet those who do journey on the path of silent self-discovery find only jewels of joy and wonderment as we get to know our souls and the pure beauty that they manifest. We desperately need time to flee from noise and activity. We need time to reinforce the connection between ourselves and the Creator of the Universe, and to nourish our souls with that connection. Nourished selves contribute more richness to man and G-d than impoverished selves do. We need time just for ourselves. We need Shabbat.
You may wish to read this important article:
The Call of Solitude - How spending time alone can enhance intimacy. Being alone can fuel life.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/rss/index.php?term=pto-19980201-000034&page=1
Notes:
[1] My own translation; but a true one.
