There are times when I find myself davening with a different minyan or using a different Siddur from the one I usually do. On these occasions I usually notice things that I haven't before. Just the other day I found myself in a different city, davening with a different minyan, using a different Siddur. I was using Chief Rabbi Jonathan Sack's magnificent work. His English version is more than a translation; it is a peirush (interpretation), and when I use his Siddur I like to notice some of the less usual angles he exposes in the way he translates the text.
It was in the long Tachanun prayer for Mondays and Thursdays that I noticed his translation do u'shema kol tefilosainu , usually translated as "and listen to the voice of our prayers." The Chief Rabbi translates it as: "and listen to the SOUND of our prayers." Both translations are accurate, the word kol means both voice and sound. The Chief Rabbi's nuance throws a whole new feeling and meaning not only onto this phrase, but onto the relationship between voice and sound.
We are accustomed to associating sound with noise and music andvoice with speech, and maybe song. However speech also has the quality of sound but we often fail to notice the sound of our own voices or the voices of others. We ask G-d to listen to the sound of our prayers: What is this sound that we beg him to hear? Is it the sound of suffering and sadness? Is it the sound of prayer and praise, plea and supplication or the sound of joy and elation? Or, are we davening silently, without a kol (sound) at all?
Think about it, how important is the sound of a person's voice to you when you meet or speak to them for the first time? What part does the sound of their voice play in your decision whether or not to trust them, whether to connect with them or distance yourself from them? Does the sound of a person's voice tell you anything about their sincerity and integrity, their arrogance or humility? I am not talking of the quality of voice with which people are born (although even that can be enhanced and refined), but rather about the tone of their voice. If you are like most people, tone of voice plays a significant part in the attitude you adopt to the speaker and what he or she is saying. This is why there is so much misunderstanding in emails and other forms of non-tonal communication.
It is interesting that as important as sound and tone of voice are in initial communications, we seem to pay less and less attention to them in communication with people with whom we are very familiar. When our children speak to us, our husbands or our wives, our bosses or our employees, do we focus only on what they say or do we also carefully listen to the sound of their voices? When we respond to them, do we respond to their request or statement, or do we respond to the emotion that underlies that question or statement? So often the words we choose to use are cover ups for real feelings we are afraid to express openly. Artful communicators listen to the sounds and the tones. They uncover these deeper feelings and respond to them, rather than to the words that may be uttered in moments of anger, frustration, inhibition or excitement. Masterful communicators let the other person know that they have heard not only their words but also the kol of their voices. This makes the speaker feel truly heard, recognized, respected and understood.
When you speak, try to use your tone of voice, the sound of your words, as a tool with which to communicate feelings. Try not to talk in monotones but introduce the music of the human heart into the way you talk, no matter who it is to whom you are talking. Give them the opportunity to understand what you are feeling not only what you are saying. This makes it easier for others to trust your communication, to trust you, and to respond to you in a deep way not just to the superficial meaning of your words.
Our Divine image manifests in our speech; not only in its content but also in it's sound. The words we use come from our minds, we can choose them for effect, for manipulation, for seduction or for deceit. The sound of our voices comes from deep within our hearts and is truer to who we are and to what we feel. We ask Hashem to listen to the unique SOUND of our prayers, the sound that distinguishes each of us, not just to the generic words standardized in every Siddur. There is music in your voice, use it. Use it when you speak, use it when you love, use it when you pray, and listen to the music in the voices of others when they speak to you.
